I know I missed the boat on National Breastfeeding Week (a day late and a dollar short and all that), but I feel that it deserves a mention any time of the year. Breastfeeding (especially in public) is a really hot topic right now, and whether or not you have children, you probably have an opinion on it. That being said, this is telling and more personal than I might would be usually, so if you're not interested stop reading here.... :)
I desperately wanted to breastfeed my son when he was born; I felt like it was the natural thing to do, a tribute to my "mommy-hood." I failed. Three months in, there was no milk to be had, and I couldn't do anything about it (I thought). When I had my daughter nearly five years later, I swore that I would not give up. I would exhaust every avenue to make sure that I succeeded and had the breastfeeding relationship that I had wanted the first time around. It has been worth every bit of pain, tears, frustration, and happiness to be able to nourish my baby the way I wanted. During the past nine months of her life, I have realized that what I really lacked the first time around was the support of a knowledgeable group of women that had enough experience to help me troubleshoot problems as they arose.
I heard some naysayers; I saw the looks women got when they nursed. Someone told me that he was uncomfortable with my nursing (with or without a cover) in his mere presence. I still hope he was joking, but it didn't matter. It was out there. I'll never forget the first time I tried to breastfeed my son in public; he was just a newborn. I was so scared to try it that I went to the bathroom and sat on a toilet and tried to feed him in the only position we had mastered, the football hold. It was terrible. I cried. It was dirty and stunk, and I was not confident that I wouldn't drop him if he wiggled too much.
I had six months at home with my son, and we never established the breastfeeding relationship that I desired, although we bonded in other ways. I felt pressured by his pediatrician to supplement with bottles at a mere four weeks, and soon after with formula. I didn't have anyone to ask questions or get advice, and so I gave up. I had no idea about building supply, galactogogues, or anything else to do with natural parenting (or parenting, in general).
Now, I'm a confident breastfeeder, and we do so in public whenever necessary. I still use a cover when I'm not at home, and I have on one occasion fed my daughter in a bathroom because I forgot said cover. I have texted a dear friend at all times of the day and night for suggestions and advice, and I have fought through weight checks, suggestions of formula, mastitis, blocked ducts, supposed low supply, cracked skin, and numerous night feedings to achieve the result I desired. I have read books and googled, and I'm no longer afraid to talk about it when it comes up in conversation. If I can be that friend that gets someone through her first nerve-wrecking months as a new mommy, then I am happy to do so.
My one question is why? Why is it so hard to discuss this or other parenting issues? Are we afraid of admitting weakness or feeling like failures? I, for one, need to stop this train of thought. No matter the issue, I am not alone. Neither are you. It is okay to not be 100% perfect 100% of the time, as it is completely impossible.
I follow several parenting blogs and facebook groups, and a lot of people ask for advice and suggestions. I've noticed that often a question turns into an argument through the comments about being right and wrong. As women, mothers, and humans, we need to learn not to judge each other's choices and lend our experiences as a support system to others.
*When I started this post, I thought it would be a light-hearted and full of personal "warm fuzzies." I was inspired by a post by another blogger that took a picture of his kids eating under blankets in the name of breastfeeding awareness. (http://thejasongreene.com/2014/08/06/my-kids-eating-lunch-under-a-blanket-in-honor-of-national-breastfeeding-month/)
The more I wrote, the better it felt getting it all "out there." It is long, verbose, and not as really light-hearted at all, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. Breastfeeding is an art; that's the only way to describe it, especially when you consider the covers, the controversy, and the wiggly, kicking baby beneath that cover. :)
I desperately enjoyed reading Brian Leaf's perspective on breastfeeding.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-leaf/the-womanly-art-of-breastfeeding_b_5354686.html
I desperately wanted to breastfeed my son when he was born; I felt like it was the natural thing to do, a tribute to my "mommy-hood." I failed. Three months in, there was no milk to be had, and I couldn't do anything about it (I thought). When I had my daughter nearly five years later, I swore that I would not give up. I would exhaust every avenue to make sure that I succeeded and had the breastfeeding relationship that I had wanted the first time around. It has been worth every bit of pain, tears, frustration, and happiness to be able to nourish my baby the way I wanted. During the past nine months of her life, I have realized that what I really lacked the first time around was the support of a knowledgeable group of women that had enough experience to help me troubleshoot problems as they arose.
I heard some naysayers; I saw the looks women got when they nursed. Someone told me that he was uncomfortable with my nursing (with or without a cover) in his mere presence. I still hope he was joking, but it didn't matter. It was out there. I'll never forget the first time I tried to breastfeed my son in public; he was just a newborn. I was so scared to try it that I went to the bathroom and sat on a toilet and tried to feed him in the only position we had mastered, the football hold. It was terrible. I cried. It was dirty and stunk, and I was not confident that I wouldn't drop him if he wiggled too much.
I had six months at home with my son, and we never established the breastfeeding relationship that I desired, although we bonded in other ways. I felt pressured by his pediatrician to supplement with bottles at a mere four weeks, and soon after with formula. I didn't have anyone to ask questions or get advice, and so I gave up. I had no idea about building supply, galactogogues, or anything else to do with natural parenting (or parenting, in general).
Now, I'm a confident breastfeeder, and we do so in public whenever necessary. I still use a cover when I'm not at home, and I have on one occasion fed my daughter in a bathroom because I forgot said cover. I have texted a dear friend at all times of the day and night for suggestions and advice, and I have fought through weight checks, suggestions of formula, mastitis, blocked ducts, supposed low supply, cracked skin, and numerous night feedings to achieve the result I desired. I have read books and googled, and I'm no longer afraid to talk about it when it comes up in conversation. If I can be that friend that gets someone through her first nerve-wrecking months as a new mommy, then I am happy to do so.
My one question is why? Why is it so hard to discuss this or other parenting issues? Are we afraid of admitting weakness or feeling like failures? I, for one, need to stop this train of thought. No matter the issue, I am not alone. Neither are you. It is okay to not be 100% perfect 100% of the time, as it is completely impossible.
I follow several parenting blogs and facebook groups, and a lot of people ask for advice and suggestions. I've noticed that often a question turns into an argument through the comments about being right and wrong. As women, mothers, and humans, we need to learn not to judge each other's choices and lend our experiences as a support system to others.
*When I started this post, I thought it would be a light-hearted and full of personal "warm fuzzies." I was inspired by a post by another blogger that took a picture of his kids eating under blankets in the name of breastfeeding awareness. (http://thejasongreene.com/2014/08/06/my-kids-eating-lunch-under-a-blanket-in-honor-of-national-breastfeeding-month/)
The more I wrote, the better it felt getting it all "out there." It is long, verbose, and not as really light-hearted at all, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. Breastfeeding is an art; that's the only way to describe it, especially when you consider the covers, the controversy, and the wiggly, kicking baby beneath that cover. :)
I desperately enjoyed reading Brian Leaf's perspective on breastfeeding.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-leaf/the-womanly-art-of-breastfeeding_b_5354686.html